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Bread and Jam

by Groom

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1.
“Rónan agus Áine”, cá bhfuil tú Ronan and Aine, where are you? You non-Irish wouldn’t understand But we’ll bring our desperate messages to you Like only a deflated population can With the weight of Peig Sayers bearing down upon you Like some ogling, bewhiskered whore As we uniformed in threes and fours And Ger Noone had his head shoved in the bed Ger Noone had his head shoved in the bed Ger Noone had his head shoved in the bed He wouldn’t take a shower, they said “Rónan agus Áine”, cá bhfuil tú Ronan and Aine, where are you? You young bucks, you hairy teenyboppers You wouldn’t know your whippers from your snappers Come back to me when your blue eyes have seen The Wavin-pipe justice that mine eyes have seen Through thurible smoke and Emerald wrapper Through my Wizzer and Chips, my Beezer and Topper Through the cracked pink paint on the change room walls The tight goose flesh, the hairy eyeball and the cast-iron radiator Where our uniforms hung in threes and fours And Ger Noone had his head shoved in the bed Ger Noone had his head shoved in the bed Ger Noone had his head shoved in the bed He wouldn’t take a shower, they said
2.
Colours 03:07
Did the plane slap down like a seagull’s arse? Were you conquered cold in the long-term parking? Did clouds beat down on your forehead, dark like a cartoon anvil? Did you see a photograph ten feet tall Of a golden crozier and Pope John Paul? Did you hear the hairy marys call “Pray for Ireland”? And did you fail, and fail again? Did you fall on filthy knees? Did you feel your mouth go “Please”? And did you see colours in the fading evening glow? Did you see colours of a Harry Clarke window In the strobing aerodrome? Did the laughing school girls line the walls At the Santry exit near Beaumont Hospital? In avenues did leaves fall? Were there two young lovers? And did they kiss, and kiss again? Did the clouds part way to earth? Were there several virgin births? You bet there were flying colours In the fading evening glow Did you see colours of a city draped in gold Or did you just drive straight on home?
3.
I’m going to Athlone just to set the tone today Gonna get off the bus and forget about you Tie a yellow ribbon round a portaloo And right there I’ll remember not to care ‘Cause we all know they couldn’t care less there I’m riding to Athlone ‘cause my heart is limestone today Rest my head where dreams are dead, the bridges green and grey There’s a Pole leaning on a mop There’s packet soup and panic at the comfort stop There’s Club M where depression stops I’m moving to Athlone just to piss and moan away To find a wheelie bin, where I’ll climb in And from there I’ll survey The poster crimes of Brendan Shine and David bloody Gray I’ll eat the sawdust in Sean’s Bar I hear there’s some old friends meeting there
4.
Books and books and books and books You know, I take them apart with my hands And every time I turn to a brand new chapter I’m already imagining how this ends ‘Cause each new page is like tracing paper I can still feel the shame of past sins Oh for your head of blonde hair Your charm, your wit and your guile Charlie O’Loughlin, Charlie O’Loughlin Are they bottling that winning smile? ‘Cause I’d pay for one day in that ‘fuck that’ way And your brown leather jacket style See I’m no good with people And they’re no good with me And I could go ‘round feeling nothing about that But the fact is, they’re in the majority I stare through grubby windows at the bustling prosperity Oh for your head of blonde hair Your charm, your wit and your guile Charlie O’Loughlin, Charlie O’Loughlin Are they bottling that winning smile? ‘Cause I’d pay for one day in that ‘fuck that’ way And your brown leather jacket style See, I’m no good with these young ones With their low tops, their FM boots And I could publish a paper, get fruits for my labour But you tell me, what the hell would that prove? ‘Cause I could do a better hustle with a generous slab of muscle And an iron jaw just like you Oh for your head of blonde hair Your charm, your wit and your guile Charlie O’Loughlin, Charlie O’Loughlin Are they bottling that winning smile? ‘Cause I’d pay for one day in that ‘fuck that’ way And your brown leather jacket style
5.
Mayflies by the lakeside Diesel smell in the air Last call by the graveside And you standing there You pull on a Benson Like the first one we smoked 28 years ago You pay for the first round As was the convention Your suit worn through re-use Mine by intention In accents we re-tread The old songs we’d sing And some other things Why do humans search for These old things that linger? Like yesterday’s paper cut Here on my finger Familiar and nasal The old songs said it all And you know – they were no good at all Late at night I can barely see with the drink, But they’re calling to me From the lake and the trees “Come back to the old songs! Come back, my cuckoo! They’re by the phone waiting They’re pining for you To breathe life into them To give music to them And just to sing them again.” La la la la la etc.
6.
Well we talked all night like a pair of gobshites “I’ve never been in a real fight,” you said We were Burgess Shale monsters, all fossilised And our words were meat and our eyes were red And you held up a mirror and you were my brother And we were there just to out-friend each other Your mother then called, there were scousers more able There were ten torn trousers by the worn pool table I’ve never been in a real fight I’ve never been in a real fight You get a bit older and your time gets tight And your hands are too old to care There should be black, black eyes to go with black hearts With our evasion of truth and this version of darts There should be two Black Russians for our big black lies And to be self-righteous you must first be right In a Japanese bar she got ten out of ten And I’m wondering if we’ll ever speak again Deep in the sandstone are two trilobites Our glasses are flailing, our muscles are tight And you’ve never been in a real fight You’ve never been in a real fight Deep in the sandstone are two trilobites And the sand is too old to care I can’t swallow my beer, our dreams are flaccid With the sadness deep down in our nucleic acids Why, why, why must we replicate? We must cut the cord and be banned from mating With the walls all scrawled; our nails still bleeding Our conversation was toilet graffiti As I crawled on my bike, all hominid biped “Let’s keep in touch,” you said We’ve never been in a real fight We’ve never been in a real fight You talked to a man in the George’s Street light And your hands were aloft in the air
7.
I went to the National Gallery Where I met up with Tom and Valerie We started talking about Tom’s salary And some other kind of mundane things And then talked turned around to Dermot And how every day he’s becoming a doormat Wouldn’t be surprised if he’ll be losing his job soon He’s only got himself to blame Dermot, Dermot, Dermot, Dermot What’s to become of Dermot? He’s a real nice fella, yeah he’s totally sound Until the moment that he’s not around So I left the National Gallery Said good bye to Tom and Valerie Made my way up there to Merrion Square And who’d I meet, but Dermot, there Hey you know I was just talking to Tom and Val And if you ask me I don’t things are going so well Wouldn’t be surprised if they’ll be breaking up soon They’ve only got themselves to blame Dermot, Dermot, Dermot, Dermot What’s to become of them, Dermot? They’re real nice people, yeah they’re totally sound Until the moment that they’re not around
8.
I love my dog but we must be parted It’s ten o’clock, they are taking her away It’s a quiet Saturday and the breeze is shifting The farmer’s lifting some bales of hay A ewe is dead and two lambs are orphaned Her neck was gashed; I am sitting in the shed And I know that later Dad will say “Were you sobbing?” But even he’s not too old for that My mother says life is temporary Then sews a line, the Cortina’s on the lawn And the yelping’s getting small with the revving engine She doesn’t know what’s going on Now I might see her on footpaths in Galway Near Cruachán Park or on Threadneedle Road But will I then be too old, will she recognise me? Or look afraid, then be whistled home? I love my dog but we must be parted It’s ten o’clock, they are taking her away It’s a quiet Saturday and the breeze is shifting The farmer’s lifting some bales of hay
9.
You might ask why I put so much interest in your life Or why I don’t get on with the mundane business of living my own life Well it’s amazing when young people fall in love It’s amazing when young people fall in love But young people don’t want to fall in love Jack and Jill took a pill for the ultimate question I was so sick with this love for you Though it might have been indigestion It’s amazing when young people fall in love It’s amazing when young people fall in love But young people don’t want to fall in love She became a universe of blame, I was her Carl Sagan She’d cut her toenails infinitely While I put my hairpiece on It’s amazing when young people fall in love It’s amazing when young people fall in love But young people don’t want to fall in love Stay alive! But don’t just survive Growing fat and owning cats Wasting on love’s slag-heap of also-rans Amid the teabags and tin cans It was good that we laughed during loving But was it with me or at me you were laughing? Stand up! Be a man! Have proportion! Then she put me in a circus contortion It’s amazing when young people fall in love It’s amazing when young people fall in love But young people don’t want to fall in love So you might ask why I show so much interest in your life I’m just waiting for the look of love to someday return to your eye ‘Cause it’s amazing when we fall in love It’s essential that we fall in love But you don’t want to fall in love
10.
My short-haired girl arrived just on cue To the tune of dots and dashes And check that too, it’s my stereo EQ Dancing like cats on her wire-frame glasses And love burst from my every pore Love burst from my every pore Paint peeled off the front door As love burst from my every pore Don’t listen to the voices To the plod of plodding feet Or the calculating beep-beep-beeps Just stay here this morning with me Then time got all splayed in the stale and the pale grey Morning after drinking She was impressed with my knowledge of chess My uncommon sense and illogical thinking And love burst from my every pore Love burst from my every pore Nails seem to rain on the front door As love burst from my every pore Don’t listen to the voices To your brain go tweet-tweet-tweet Or the holocaust of beep-beep-beeps Just stay here this morning with me And we looked awful smart We were like two rusty shopping carts Stuck in the muck of the Dodder With the generous flow of E. coli water I never want this moment to pass The taste of the grass makes a fool of the ass Squashed purple candle, pie left unspoken One bottle half-corked, the other unopened And there in red biro in the crook of my hand “If I can forget them then you can” Love burst from my every pore Love burst from my every pore The one-eared painter stared from the door As love burst from my every pore Don’t listen to the voices To the so-called thoughts of those in the know Check the intimate light of the dawn’s glow And stay here this morning with me And we looked awful smart We were like two rusty shopping carts Stuck in the muck of the Dodder With the generous flow of E. coli water I never want this moment to pass The taste of the grass makes a fool of the ass Don’t listen, listen to the voices etc.
11.
1995 02:36
Memory is as memory does I come bearing silent grudge And a quietly retreating fringe You’re probably wondering how this ends But black was black and white was white In summer, 1995 When we were holed up in a shack I stole your toothbrush but put it back Tell your brother to tell your sister That I’d still love her and I’d still miss her If she had played catch in the cloisters I would have made her world my oyster La la la la la la La la la la la la La la Well it’s a tooth for a tooth, it’s an eye for an eye Said the lady dentist to the man that was blind, blind, blind It was hand to hand, it was mouth to mouth It was caught on camera, it was on the couch Tell your brother to tell your sister That I still love her and I sure miss her And time we wasted in the cloisters I wonder if this still annoys her La la la la la la La la la la la la La la

credits

released August 9, 2014

Groom are Michael Stevens (lead vocal, guitar), Jeroen Saegeman (keyboards, guitar, backing vocal), Wil McDermott (bass, keyboard, backing vocal) and Ruan van Vliet (drums)
Additional musician: Paddy Hanna (harmonica on "Moving to Athlone")

Songs written by Michael Stevens

Recorded and mixed in Soup Studios, London. Additional overdubs recorded in various people’s houses in Dublin.
Engineered in London by: Simon Trought, Giles Barrett and Dave
Additional engineers (Dublin): Fiachra McCarthy, Padraig Cooney, the Groom boys

Mixed by Giles Barrett
Mastered by Richard Dowling at WAV Mastering

Cover illustration and sleeve design: Ruan van Vliet

Thanks
Simon, Dave and Giles in Soup Studios; the Popical crew; Padraig and Fiachra for the dig-out; Richard Dowling; Mark Chester for timely lending of gear plus live chops; Paddy Hanna for the rock and roll; and all our respective families.

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